A Letter to My Mother
Before you died, I used to think about you all the time. I used to daydream about we’d be together again, and I still do.
I wished I had called you more. You were the one to always call me just in time to ask me how my day was, and what I ate. You cared about the little things that didn’t seem important to me. I loved receiving your phone calls, they made me realized that someone was always thinking about me.
I mostly called you when I needed something or when something went wrong and I needed your advice or reassurance. Now, calling anyone when something goes wrong or I need advice feels like a waste of time.
I’m sorry you died so young. Your whole life was ahead of you. I’m sorry about the way you died. I’m sorry about the pain you felt. You didn’t deserve to go this way. But I will remember you for the way you lived – strong, vibrant and full of life.
You always told me that you just want me to be happy. I’ll do my best to lead my life the way you would want me to live. There are so many things I wish we could talk about. So many questions I have for you and so much more words that I want to hear coming from you. I still have a lot to tell you, so this is probably not the last letter that you get from me.
I was watching TV once, and they were interviewing an 80-year-old woman about how she felt to still have her mother with her, who was over 100 years old.
They showed them eating breakfast together on a balcony surrounded by flowers and a beautiful sunrise. All while the birds sing in the background. The lady held her mother’s hands and said, “there is no better feeling in the world than eating breakfast every morning with your mother at 80-years-old.”
This made me feel happy and sad. I was sad because we will never have that, it was stolen from us. But it also made me happy because it reminded me that there are still beautiful people in this world.
So, maybe one day when I’m 80-years-old, I will eat breakfast every morning with someone special, while the birds sing and the sun rise. And it will be the best feeling in the world but I will still wish that it could have been with you.